What Did You Learn?

As we finished up our study of Titus 2:1-5 today, we took the opportunity to share what we learned through this study. We'd like to ask you - what did you learn? What did God challenge you with as you studied with us?

Making a Biblical Appeal

~Making a Biblical Appeal~

We like Martha Peace's approach to making a Biblical appeal as defined in her book The Excellent Wife. Here are some principles taken from her book.

1) "A biblical appeal is a request or plea to a person in authority for the purpose of asking them to reconsider or reevaluate a command..." Daniel 1:8 says that Daniel "purposed in his heart...therefore he requested..."

2) "When a wife believes she has a better or wiser idea, as her husband's helper, she should be ready to give her husband the benefit of her wise counsel and advice. A wise husband should always be ready to receive it." Proverbs 1:5 says "...a man of understanding will attain wise counsel."

3) "The appeal should be done for the purpose of achieving the husband's objective or desire (as long as the end that the husband has in mind is not a violation of God's Word).

4) "The motive of the wife must not be manipulative. She should not use the appeal simply to get her own way." Our motive must be for the sake of honoring our heavenly Father.

5) "The appeal should be made in a respectful manner and with a spirit of submission...with a kind and gentle voice." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describe love. It is patient, kind, not rude....

6) "The appeal should be done at the proper time...not rushed... or angry."

7) "An appeal should be made only once....frequent or repeated appeals may give the appearance that a wife is nagging, contentious, and manipulative."

8) A biblical appeal may sound something like this: "Honey, I am committed to doing whatever you decide; would you consider ________ as an alternative?"

9) "Unless the husband is sinning or asking his wife or others to sin, after an appeal is made, the wife must assume that his final decision is God's will for her at the moment-even if she must suffer for the sake of righteousness. " 1 Peter 3:17 says, "For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong."

We hope these principles help you as you seek to honor God by submitting to your husband.

Submitting to My Husband, part 2

~Practical ways to submit~

1) Money - You can submit by honoring his wishes when it comes to money. It's more than just the actual spending money on needs, but the heart behind the spending the money. If you have not already, spend some time talking to your husband about the finances and agree on the boundaries of spending. Pray for your husband as he leads the family in this area.

2) Children - Trusting God to help you and your husband to decide when and how many children to have. The motivation is important; discuss why you want what you want. Is the motivation God-honoring?

~When you disagree~

If you disagree with your husband, there are some biblical guidelines that you should follow to biblically appeal to your husband's decision. Come back next week as we continue discussing this topic!

Submitting to My Husband

"Submit to my husband? What? Do I really have to? But he doesn't know what he's doing! I know my choice is better!" These are perhaps thoughts that every woman has thought of. Submission is truly a difficult subject to discuss as we are selfish in nature and want our own way. Yet it is a biblical principle that we ought to follow. We desire to share with you the joy that it is to be a wife who submits willingly to her husband. We pray that through this time of discussion of what it means to submit to your husband that you will allow God to work in your heart. We pray God will reveal to you where change may be necessary in your life regarding this topic. Here are a few key thoughts from today's discussion: 1) The wife is equal to her husband in her value to God - Genesis 1:27 says that man and woman were created in His image. 2) The wife's role is to be the helper to her husband; she is ranked underneath him in order of authority of the marriage - Genesis 2:18. 3) The wife is to submit to her own husband "as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22). We can be joyful in our submission when we see that we are really submitting to Christ. The one exception is if your husband asks you to sin, you should choose to obey God rather than sinning (Acts 5:29). We pray the Lord will work in you to be a wife who will glorify God, even in the area of submission.

Kindness

Proverbs 31:25 says "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." There are many other verses that talk about the importance of kindness. In our passage, the older women are told to teach the younger women to be kind. The primary hindrance to showing kindness is our own selfishness. When we are concerned about our own desires, we will find it difficult to be concerned about others. There are so many practical ways to show kindness, yet we need to train ourselves to be aware of other's needs. If you are to teach the younger to be kind, you must first be kind! How can you teach the younger to be kind?

Working at Home

Genesis 2:18 says that God made the woman to be the "helper" for the man. God has designed a wife's role as her husband's helper. Working at home is one of those ways that a wife can be the helper to her husband. It's important for us to look at the kind of home we are making for our husband. Are we doing things in the home that make him happy? Maybe he prefers the dishes are always cleaned and put away, but you'd rather focus on the laundry. It's important to talk with your husband about what he would like done so you know how to focus your day. Then the question of "should I work outside the home?" comes up. We ought to ask ourselves some tough questions before making this decision. Carolyn Mahaney in her book, Feminine Appeal, writes " But whenever we contemplate opportunities outside of the home, we must first consider the consequences they might have on our families. We must also evaluate our motives. We should ask ourselves questions such as: 1) What are the reasons for considering this opportunity? Are they selfish or God-honoring? 2) Will pursuing this venture glorify God and honor the gospel? 3) Will it enhance and enrich the lives of my family? 4) Does this endeavor hinder my role as the caretaker of my family?" The answers to these questions will help you see if working outside the home is something the Lord would have you do. We'd like to hear from you. If you have any other Scripture or principles concerning this topic, please click on the comment link under this post and share your thoughts with us!

Purity

Being pure involves our thoughts, actions and communication to others. We ought to guard what we allow to influence our life. So ask yourself why do you do what you do? Why do you watch certain TV shows? Read magazines? Watch certain movies? Are those things pure according to God's Word? Do they follow the pattern of Philippians 4:8? "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (ESV) Be careful to guard your heart and purify your mind with God's Word. Being pure also applies to your sexual purity. Ephesians 5:1-4 is a great passage to study on the subject of purity. We pray God will help you as you seek to be pure in your thoughts, actions and words.

Self-Control

Self-control can only happen when we are Spirit-controlled. (Galatians 5:16-25) There are many areas of life that are affected when we lack self-control: eating habits, physical exercise, time, money, hobbies, communication, emotions, etc... What are some practical tips on staying self-controlled? How do you overcome the "desires of the flesh"?

Loving My Children, part 2

Another aspect of loving our children involves spending time with them. What are some hindrances to spending quality time with your children? How can you overcome those hindrances?

Loving My Children

Psalm 127:3-5b says, "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!" Children are a blessing from our Lord and as we seek to love them biblically how can we show love to them? We also talked today about biblically disciplining our children. Proverbs 13:24 says, "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." How can we lovingly and diligently discipline our children to bring honor and glory to God? What is the goal of biblical discipline? Sometimes it is hard to continue in biblical discipline; how might you encourage a mother who is struggling in this area?

A Challenge

Communication with your husband takes work. Often we neglect to communicate because we are busy with other things such as care of the children, ministry activities, or housework. Yet, in order to grow in your relationship with your husband, you must communicate! Here's a challenge: Plan a date with your husband in the next 2 weeks (get a sitter for the kids!!). Then on your date ask your husband how you can be a better wife for him. Ask for his honest feedback and assure him you won't get angry at his response! Pray that God would help you to be open to what your husband says to you and to not make any excuses! Then come back here (if you want) and let us know how that went.

Loving My Husband

Our discussion today revolved around the practical ways that you can show love to your husband. You might be tempted to think that doing the laundry, picking up after him, or cooking his meals shows your love. Yet as we talked today, we see there are many other ways to show your love to him. What do you think?

Addictions

Romans 6:17-18 says, "But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness." (ESV) What are you a slave to? God's Word tells us that because we have been set free from sin, we become slaves of righteousness. Are you a slave of righteousness? If we have an addiction to something we know that God's truth will set us free. John 8:31-32 says "..."If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (ESV). The key is abiding in God's word. How can we help someone who is searching for freedom from an addiction?

The Tongue

James 3:8-10 says "but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers,these things ought not to be so." (ESV) We talked today about how to control our tongue; to avoid slander. Why is it so hard to avoid gossip? How can I avoid gossip?

Modesty

Today we touched on some practical ways to be sure you are be modest in your dress. Because you're modest doesn't mean you can't have style! So please share YOUR tips on how you can stay modest while being in style! On a personal note, I find it VERY difficult to find swimwear for summertime fun! Do biblical principles of of modesty apply even in our choice of a swim suit? I believe they do. We want to hear your thoughts on this, so please share!

Being Reverent

What does behaving reverently look like? As we discussed in our program today, we must have an awareness that God is dwelling inside me. It is acting according to the Truth of what I know about God. Can we be reverent in our daily chores? Washing dishes, changing diapers, caring for the elderly? Of course! How does behaving reverently affect our attitude, daily chores, our dress? Please share your answers! What other areas of life does reverent behavior affect?

Being Loving and Steadfast

Today we wrapped up Titus 2:2, discussing love and steadfastness. We want to ask you - what are some practical ways that you show love to others or teach children to love others? In order to persevere in our faith it all starts in God's Word. What are some of your favorite verses you use to help you as you strive to be steadfast? We pray you have a wonderful weekend as you serve the Lord.

How Do You Teach?

A question we posed today on our program was "How can I can teach other women to have sound doctrine?" In what ways do you find it effective to teach other women to have sound doctrine? We want to hear from you, so please share how God has used you to teach other women or how another woman has taught you!